If you’ve determined that your child is ready for potty training, it’s time to take the plunge. It’s not easy, but don’t despair, your child will master potty training some time before kindergarten. It’s important to make sure you’re ready, too, because potty training requires a lot of commitment on the part of the Mom.
First, you need to make potty training a project. If your child is really ready, and you make the commitment to focus on it, many children can be trained in about a week. But, you’ve got to stay on top of it to make it go quickly. Here are some tips to help you out.
Use the timer
Tell your child that when the bell rings, it’s time to race to the potty. Then set the timer for 20 minutes. When the timer goes off, race to the potty with the child and see if she can go. If not, set the timer for another 20 minutes and try again. As you determine the right interval, you can wait longer between alarms, but 20 minute intervals is a good place to start. Not only does this make a game for you and your toddler, it ensures that you won’t forget to ask if she needs to potty. Success breeds success here. If she can go for a long time without wetting her diaper, it will encourage her to remember. But, at first, you’ve got to remember.
Offer rewards
Offer some sort of reward every time your child goes in the potty. Double it if she tells you she needs to go and then actually goes. Every success should be wildly celebrated. We do our happy dance, sing our song and get stickers, each and every time.
Let the little one go naked
This tactic works best for those without carpet. Your child will really get the picture about how potty training works if he has an accident while wearing nothing on his bottom. It can be messy, but you’ll probably find that it really speeds up the process. It seems to work especially well with girls, as they really don’t like the feeling of wetness.
The most important aspect of potty training is diligence. There are lots of tools that can help you, like books and dolls with their own potty. But the number one factor in succeeding quickly is simply making potty training a priority, so get prepared. Plan ahead of time to make this week “potty training week” and then stick to the plan. Stay home as much as possible to make training easier. Before you know it, you’ll be kissing those diapers goodbye!
Sarah is a 41 year old wife and mother of two boys and one girl. She spent many years as a manager in the corporate world, and gave it up to be a stay at home mom.
Go to http://www.infantresources.com now and get her incredible baby minicourse - absolutely free.
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Often I have heard that leaders are born, not made. Do you think this is true? How many times did you read a biography of a great leader, and discovered that as a child, he has been quiet, reserved and rather shy? Are those natural qualities of a leader? Of course not! These people have developed their leadership qualities later in life.
Would you like your child to be a leader?
What are the qualities of a leader?
Here are some of the qualities required to be a leader, and how you can encourage the development of these qualities in your child.
* Integrity - remember to be a good example, a role model for your child. Parents teach by example, and integrity is a quality kids learn from their parents. Talk with your child about integrity. One tool that is very helpful is story telling. Look for books that tell about the value of integrity. To find more resources for stories that promote values in kids, look at http://www.all-gifted-children.com, under “Resources”. You can find it at Inspirational Kids Stories on the web. You can also make up your own stories, that tell about the value of integrity.
* Courage - always praise courage. When your child shows courage, notice it and praise it. Praise courage wherever you see an expression of it. Story telling is also very effective in this case.
* Creative, independent thinking. In order to develop this quality, it is very helpful to ask questions. When you talk with your child about any subject at all, always ask open questions, that encourage creative thinking. Use the “One Step Farther” principle. After you have gotten all the obvious answers, ask one more question, to come up with a deeper, more creative idea. Questions like “why”, “what would happen if…”, “how do you think did it feel…”, encourage your child to think creatively. Talk to your child, encourage independent thinking.
* Confidence - this is one of the most important qualities required for success in general. To develop confidence in your child, avoid criticizing your child, praise your child sincerely and often, develop a habit to talk about your child’s strengths and achievements with him every day. Remember to make it a point to bring up at least one good quality of your child every day. If you adopt it as a routine, over time it will do wonders for your child. It takes only a few minutes to mention an achievement or a strength (a good quality). Encourage your child, repeat the phrase “you can do it” often.
* A leader takes responsibility. When something goes wrong, sometimes it makes us feel better if we can blame something else or someone else. A leader takes responsibility. Make sure your child knows that he is the “boss” in his life. His success is his responsibility. We are not victims of our environment, we have control over our life. Teach your child to “come from a place of power”. When your child blames someone else or something else for a mishap, or comes up with excuses, you have an opportunity to encourage your child to assume responsibility. Make sure that your child knows that it is Ok to make mistakes. Mistakes are an opportunity to learn.
You can help your child draw conclusions, without “making him wrong”, by asking: “what did you learn from this?”, “what do you think went wrong?”, “why do you think this happened?”, “how could you avoid this?” and again “what do you think would happen if…?”. Your child should understand that he has no control over other people, and is not expected to have control over other people’s actions, but he has full control over his own reaction. This will give your child the feeling of power, as opposed to “being a victim”.
The conversations that you hold with your child have a profound effect on your child’s future. Make sure you take the time to talk with your child every day, to be involved with what is happening in your child’s life. To support, encourage and inspire. By doing that, you are being a leader, and you are developing your child’s leadership skills.
For the last 26 years, Esther Andrews has studied, researched and practiced the ways to develop a child’s intelligence. She also served as the principal of the School for Gifted Education. As a result of this experience, she developed her own method and philosophy, that proved to be extremely successful with her own 2 highly gifted children.
In her web site, http://www.all-gifted-children.com, she helps parents develop their child’s genius, and provide for their kids the opportunity to achieve their maximum potential.
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Congratulations you’re going to be a mother! You have all of the emotions from excitment to anxiety to confusion of a first time expectant mom. You have one thing that many first time expectant moms don’t have: a stepchild.
You are a member of the growing group of expectant moms who are a part of a blended or stepfamily. You are faced with the unique challenge of having your first baby with a husband who has a child or children from a previous relationship.
Regardless of your relationship with your stepchildren,they may experience jealousy or insecurity that daddy is having another baby.
Dad should assure the children that his heart is big enough to love all of his children and that no one will take their place in his eyes.
Now it’s your turn to talk to your stepchildren. What should you say? Consider the following:
Never offer assurance by saying things won’t change after the baby is born. A baby brings changes in life. You probably won’t feel like hosting your stepchild’s slumber party after staying up the previous night with your crying newborn.
Do offer assurance by saying that even though you will have to eliminate some of your activities during pregnancy and after the baby arrives, your stepchild will always have a place in your heart.
Never offer assurance by saying you will love your newborn the same as your stepchild. Even if you believe this is true at the time you announce your pregnancy, don’t say it. Why?
As the months progress, you will be taken by surprise at the intensity of love you feel for the growing baby inside of you. Seeing the first ultrasound and feeling the first movements create a bond that develops long before your baby is born. A stepmom usually does not have the opportunity to develop a bond with her stepchild before birth.
The bond of a first time expectant mom can be so great with her developing baby that if she is a stepmom, she often wishes her husband was sharing the experience as a first time dad as well.
Do offer assurance by reaffirming your love or by reaffirming the special place your stepchild has in your heart. Remind your stepchild that the new baby will be a part of him or her.
Being a stepmom expecting her first baby is no easy feat. In addition to the unsettling emotions pregnancy hormones bring, you have the challenges of a blended or stepfamily.
Take time to relax, pamper yourself and talk about your feelings with those you trust. Cherish each day you grow closer to meeting the little one you’re carrying. Before you know it one day when you hold your baby, you’ll know why mothers refer to their little ones as “the hearts outside of their bodies.”
Cynthia Wilson James is a childbirth educator, author, a midlife mom of two bubbly toddlers and a stepmom. She gave birth at age 42 to her first child and a second child at age 44. You can reach her at her website http://www.inseasonmom.org
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I read a lot of articles related to kids and chores. There are experts who believe kids should have assigned chores and it’s a necessary part of growing up. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. What I know for sure is that arguments and tension in families are often centered around getting kids to do their chores.
Growing up we had very few chores to do. I don’t really think it was a conscious decision on the part of my parents. I think it was just easier for mom, who was the person in charge of all the housework, to do it herself. My dad just went along with what ever she decided was appropriate or not when it came to issues relating to us.
My best friend had a lot of chores to do. I vividly remember knocking on her door many Saturday mornings to ask if she could play. She couldn’t because she had to stay in and help with the chores. I was always disappointed because I wanted her to come outside to play with me. We never had to stay in the house to do chores so it was hard to understand.
I’ve been very inconsistent as a parent around getting my kids to do specific chores. What ultimately ends up happening is that I have to step in and finish the job because it’s usually only half done. I forget that I’ve assigned something to be a chore and end up doing the whole thing myself. I’ve often said to myself: “Oh, I forgot, I asked one of the kids to do that. It’s too late now.”
Do I think kids should have responsibilities around the house? Absolutely. The family home is a communal space that a group of people share. Each person is responsible for cleaning up their own messes, hanging up their own coat, putting their shoes and bags away and cleaning up any garbage they accumulate. It shows respect towards the other people who live in the house. The earlier kids learn to clean up after themselves the earlier it will become automatic.
When my kids were very small we used plastic dinnerware. They were taught to clear their dishes away as soon as they finished eating. It didn’t take long before they did it automatically without being reminded. Because their plates were plastic I never worried if something fell out of their little hands. They cleared their dishes away when they ate at someone else’s house as well.
When they entered preschool we installed hooks at their level so they could hang up their own jackets. It usually just took a simple: “Hang up your coat please” or “As soon as you’ve hung your coat up, you can go and play.” Being consistent meant it took no time at all before it became automatic. There were a number of other steps we took to make it easier for the kids to put away their things and the expectation was that it was their responsibility and not ours, to do it.
In our house, my husband does the majority of the vacuuming. He’s a perfectionist so does a very thorough job. Its one example that I can think of, that if it was assigned to one of our kids, my husband would not be satisfied with the result and would end up doing it all over again. Does this mean our kids will never learn how to vacuum a room? They will keep their floors and carpets clean because they’ve grown up seeing the carpets being vacuumed regularly. It’s been role modeled. Will they never know how to clean a bathroom? As with the vacuuming, there’s a standard they’ve become accustomed to and one they’re likely to mimic when they’re on their own.
I made a decision long ago that I wanted my children to grow up in a home where people respect one another, communicate openly, love for each other is expressed regularly and tension and fighting is kept to a minimum. I wanted laughter to be something we often share. Now that my kids are soon to be adults, I can proudly look back and say, I think we’ve achieved that.
Barbara Desmarais is a Parenting and Life Coach and mother to two teenagers. Her training in Early Childhood Education led to a career in parent education. She has been working with parents both privately and in groups for close to eighteen years.
Visit Barbara’s website at http://www.theparentingcoach.com. She can be reached at barb@theparentingcoach.com
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If the child has been reared in a loving, affectionate, openly communicative environment, the relationship with parents would be a strong one. It is only when there are ongoing troubles in the relationship between parents and the child that there is a breakdown in communication.
When parents are going through difficulties in their own relationship the child sometimes develops guilt. The child can hold himself or herself responsible for the breakdown in relationship between the parents. This needs to be explained to the child. Usually the child will not verbalize this guilt.
The teenage years are emotionally sensitive years from the perspective of dealing with the outside world. For the first time the child realizes his or her position in society. Friends suddenly become more important than parents. It is during this time that the relationship between children and parents is tested. If the bond with parents is strong, the child will not be swayed by the drug and alcohol culture. If the bond is weaker, the child will end up with problems.
During such times, one of the effective ways to deal with the problems is to discuss the problem with the child. As parents, you will need to discuss the consequences of each option and then leave the final decision to the child. Forcing parental will on children is counterproductive, especially at this age. Also imposing parental will at this time will make sure that your relationship with your child will also breakdown permanently. The child will stop communicating and then you will not know what is happening in their life. Whatever be the problem the child need never be made to feel alone. The moment that happens, the possibility of serious self-harm is raised.
Suicide is a learnt behaviour. It is prevalent among young people too. When the child feels cornered, alone and not listened to, the probability of self-harm increases. Other factors that increase the probability of suicide are-confrontation with parents, reprimand of any kind and another suicide as an example(as by a friend ).
Any problem at this age can be dealt with by a neutral approach by parents. Discuss things calmly. Leave the decision to the individual. Make yourself available for any help or support that the child desires. The child will feel comfortable when allowed the freedom of choice.
Copyright- Pradeep K Chadha 2006
Pradeep K Chadha is a psychiatrist who specialises in helping patients with meditation and imagery using little or no medication. He is the author of The Stress Barrier-Nature’s Way To Overcoming Stress published by Blackhall Publishing, Dublin. He is based in Dublin, Ireland. His website address is http://www.drpkchadha.com
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