Somber Reptile

So You Thought that Was Funny, Did You?

May 30th, 2008 at 1:44 am (School of Publishing)

Using humour in communication has risks. People may misinterpret what is being said, they may take offence at the joke or they may just not think that it was all that funny. There is no doubt, though, that using humour well can help to build rapport, relax people and show that you’re human. It can, also, help to de-fuse difficult situations

There are, I think, no specific rules of when and when not to use humour, it will depend upon the situation, the people present and most importantly, their mood or receptivity

The answers to these questions are a matter of personal judgement based upon circumstances at the time.

The use of humour in most situations, though, is not a rational logical process. You are more likely to respond instinctively to a given set of circumstances.
For this reason ‘observational’ humour or ‘word play’ is usually most effective because it is a response to what is happening at the present time and in which everyone is involved.

Jokes, on the other hand, tend to be ‘after the event’ and so are perfect for social situations. Even so, you still need to be careful to ensure that the jokes you are telling are suitable for the people present, otherwise you risk excluding someone or of offending them. This is increasingly the case in our modern multi-cultural society. A good communicator is able to express themselves sin ways that are good for anyone listening.

I have experienced subtle humour at a funeral and seen a sad occasion brightened by the laughter of everyone present. I’ve seen doomed business negotiations rescued by a funny comment that made everyone realise how ridiculous they were being.
It takes a certain type of person to be able to use humour effectively and, to be honest, not everyone can do it well. You probably know by now whether you’re witty or good at telling jokes. If not, it’s probably best to avoid it and to communicate more effectively in the ways that you can excel.

Ian Cooper
©Eyedeecee Management Ltd, 2005 - All rights reserved

Ian has extensive management experience gained through a career in financial services and as an independent management and training consultant. He formed his own consultancy to optimise his wide experience of general, sales, training & operational management whilst using his highly developed communication skills to train, coach & develop people toward high performance.

He writes learning support material and management texts upon which he bases a range of seminars aimed at increasing personal effectiveness. He takes a straightforward & practical approach, de-mystifying theory and bringing clarity of thought and sharp focus to meeting individual development needs.

Ian has an MSc degree and a Postgraduate Diploma in Management Studies from the Robert Gordon University Aberdeen. He is a member of numerous management & networking associations.

Ian lives with his wife in London, England and enjoys travel, walking, the theatre, photography/art, writing (on business and fictional subjects), good food/wine & malt whisky.

email: ian@eyedeecee.co.uk

website: http://www.eyedeece.co.uk

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Public Speakers! Helpful Tip #1 From Your Friendly Grammar Police

May 27th, 2008 at 2:55 pm (School of Publishing)

I know you wouldn’t make such a gross error, but it set my teeth on edge as I heard yet again a pundit from a major television network describe a place as “very, very unique.”

What is going on that we Americans feel compelled to modify and glorify every noun or verb, as though the words themselves were not sufficient to express a thought accurately? The English language is, after all, a rich, yeasty, varied language with more than enough words to convey even a complex idea. And as a living language it is in a constant state of growth and change.

Fine. But why must so much of the change be downright wrong? The use of “very (very, very, very!) unique” is a common example of wrongness–so common, in fact, that we rarely even hear the word without a modifier. Perhaps it demonstrates our feelings of being insufficient–of requiring something extra to feel as though we’re expressive English speakers. How distressing.

You see, the word “unique” means that whatever it is that is unique is unlike anything else in the universe. Therefore, it cannot be modified at all-not by any other word in English or any other language–not even French, although “tres unique” may sound quite sophisticated and upper class to some people. (That pesky TV again.)

If the mountain climate, for example, is unique it cannot be very unique, somewhat unique, extremely unique or anything-else unique. As long as there is no other climate in the world exactly like the climate on that mountain it is unique. Period.

It can be rather unusual, somewhat unusual or extremely unusual or anything-else unusual.

If, as a public speaker, you feel the need to emphasize the word unique, you can do it with the pacing of your sentence and with your breath. Simply make a teeny break before the word, and again after the word.

Let the timbre of your voice carry the strength of the word by thinking how special that word is. Sounds loopy, doesn’t it? The mind, however, is your primary guide for carrying your intention to the audience by means of the sound of your voice. Thinking is wunnerful! It works.

Carole McMichaels, Author of Fearless Public Speaking: How To Get Rid of Your Stage Fright and Prepare and Deliver a Winning Presentation.” A lifetime as a performing musician and composer, coupled with over 30 years as a therapist/coach and public speaker has given me a varied and comprehensive background for working effectively with clients on the technical, structural and emotional aspects of public speaking. And besides that, it’s fun.
http://www.getridofpublicspeakingfears.com

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